ANOTHER YEAR - Towards 2018 festival

If you're still interested, I'm still working on 'The Other Big C Challenge' - is it profane to mention both in the one sentence?
Anyway, this is just an alert to say:
(a) For me the challenge continues, and intensifies as the days shorten.
(b) This year I am using the support of Linda, a counsellor working on a contract in TA style.
According to Muriel James in Perspectives in Transactional Analysis (1998, San Francisco; TA Press, p82ff) contracts will

• Involve Mutual Consent bilateral (two-sided)
• Valid consideration (named benefits)
• Competency (ability to carry out the terms)
• Lawful (doesn't include breaking the law)

A TA contract has five questions to be answered:

1. What do I want that would enhance my life?
2. What specific change do heed to make to get what I want?
3. What am I willing to do to effect this change?
4. How will others know when I have made this change?
5. How might I sabotage myself?

Another question I would like to add
6. How will I reward myself when I have done/achieved this change?

This process will not fully began until next week (Tuesday November 20) but writing this blog, and going over the three artist notebooks of the original EN-JOYING Christmas project represent on the one hand a form of 'preparation' and on the other hand, a salututory insight that for whatever reason, I still identify with many of the feelings and negative ideas from 2012. Maybe Linda will spot a possible cause that I am hiding from myself (discounting)

Meanwhile, I am thinking a little about the wording for the contract that Linda extracted from our conversation, something about making a decision that my Child ego-state will have one enjoyable day on Christmas Day.

Light and Darkness at dawn - Nov 2018

2017 POSTSCRIPT

Interestingly, Christmas 2017 was a quietly 'good' Christmas, I think part of the cause had to do with the Recovery adage"Lower your standards and improve your performance"
Bu there were other things I did differently also.

• I again did Christmas shopping in November with Hazel, for the second year running. She loves the process, and her company makes it a little easier for me. Actually we didn't get everything done this year, but I didn't let myself concentrate on what wasn't done. Instead, I wrapped and labeled what I'd bought. Then over the next few weeks, I got items when I was doing my weekly shopping, and in many cases, wrapped them the day I bought them, or soon after. Doing this meant I wasn't creating the 'Unfinished business' that doesn't help my mental health.
• 
  



Fleece Tunnel

• I had a HelpX person, John, who stayed Dec 13 to 23. I didn't organize to be so busy in those days - he just asked for them way back in October I think, and I just said yes. So instead of my attention being on the forthcoming "C-day", all I was thinking about was keeping him occupied for that ten days, as well as being involved with him in bedding down the fuchsias for the winter. Not only was it very healthy for me to have this particular piece of 'unfinished business' out of the way, but our progress exceeded my expectations, and we made a successful fleece tunnel who has stayed standing through winds over 40 kph.

And a major task that John did was first of all to 'accompany' me as I went through the decorations to decide which should go to Vincents charity shop, and which I wanted to keep, and then he took on the whole decorating task, including checking the lights etc.

Lumenaria

•  It was a huge weight off my mind to have someone who could climb high if needed without the kind of risk I would be taking at my 80 years.

Christmas tree

• 

  Window lights

  
  

  Somehow I managed to keep the 'question mark' intact over each day, not making plans, but just taking each day as it came. Phone calls, hangouts, family meals, emails - all kept me in contact with people which was healthy too.And I took the whole Christmas card business in part acts. It may be that I missed out on some people, but hopefully not too many.
• Now in early January I have something else to occupy my mind - I am in the process of organizing to have a cataract removed, and this will entail some trips to Belfast as the Irish HSE has very long waiting lists.
• So taking down and packing away the decorations is also being done in 'Part Acts', again keeping my tension at manageable levels. There are still tasks undone, but I'm not fussing about them
• Probably best of all, I have the Johnstown gathering to look forward to on Saturday. This is a meeting of those who contribute to Garden.ie , the online gardening club. We Swap plants, have a meal, raffle, Kris Kindle, and shop to the limits of our budget.

God is good - I am very grateful for having had a quiet and peaceful Christmas.