The Project begins

This is an ART PROJECT to help me work through a challenge which I have consistently ignored/avoided.
The IMAGES are key to understanding what I am about. Click on the image to read it more easily.

Got some shiny 'table confetti' to pretty up the pages, but they turn out to be a bit fiddley, so I may not use them every time.

The word WORDING is still a mystery to me, but I managed to make 34 words out of it, and EN-JOYed myself in so doing.

The mind-map on this page aptly reflects the confusion I was feeling that day about how I might approach the project.

Even though I have subsequently had some ideas, I'm still not sure what it might look like in the end. Am thinking that probably the PROCESS is more important than the OUTCOME.

This mindmap is a bit more orderly, but still lacks the clarity I would like.

On the right you can see the dragon of my fear at facing the CHALLENGE. Will you look at the terrified expression in the eyes! I didn't plan this, it just 'dripped off the end of my pen'.


This page is an essay on JOY. I like my definition:
Joy is a mental attitude
Arising from a
DECISION
to BELIEVE (to risk accepting)
that

• The PAST was OK (even if I didn't like it)
• The PRESENT is OK (even if I don't understand it)
• The FUTURE will be OK (no matter what it brings)

This page is a conversation (somewhat convoluted) with myself, a kind of interview with myself.
At the end of it, I was a bit discouraged - it turned out to be more difficult than I expected to keep it brief, and still say what I wanted.

These are my first thoughts on what I want to get from the INTERVIEWS.

Again, the thinking isn't yet complete.

I took several hours making this page, aiming to let thoughts emerge, rather than racking my brains.

I found it interesting to think about the process of enjoying (as sparked off by hearing a few seconds of a Christmas carol.

Then I looked at the process of wondering.

The next morning, lying in bed I got one of those blinding insights - you know the sort that makes me say: But of course - I knew that all the time.

• I know how to WONDER
• When I wonder, I feel JOY
• So if I want to know JOY, 
• I have to DECIDE TO WONDER.

The final page isn't nearly so free.
I made it two days ago.
That night I had a dream about being involved in some kind of event, and getting into trouble for not pleasing the 'boss'.

I woke up feeling stressed.
Have to start WONDERING again.